#EggGirl was a Box-Office Stinker

By Aaron Callaghan

This is an opinion article.

Common Assault for throwing an egg, give me a break. Relax everyone it’s an egg, not a slippery slope in to anarchy.

Scott Morrison came out of this smelling like roses and even killed the room with a joke about the Country Women’s Association and the proper use of eggs in baking.

‘Oooo kill ‘em ScoMo’.

Here’s the real problem in all of this and why #EggGirl Amber Paige, who was charged with common assault and cannabis possession, is that her actions kind of fell flat, it didn’t have the same energy as #EggBoy, moreover in the kerfuffle, Paige knocked over an elderly lady. Oooof. Sequels are never good (read: Save for the greats Terminator 2: Judgement Day, Aliens, Toy Story 2 and Lethal Weapon 2) and this attempted walk by egging just felt - bleh. The egging round two was like purchasing a ticket to see Caddy Shack 2, a complete abortion of cinema greatness, seeing Chevy Chase collecting cheques and rolling out tired old tropes and canned gags. Sometimes running it straight back doesn’t work.

Egg boy’s egging of Senator Fraser Anning was a momentous event, there was egg everywhere, Fraser Anning was deeply annoyed by the incident and threw hands, also the treatment of Egg Boy by Anning’s thugs added to the feel-good narrative of Egg Boy standing up against racism. Egg Boy was a tough act to follow and the sequel was a box office bomb.

Trying to catch lightening in a bottle is hard, imagine trying to do it twice.

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The egg didn’t even break. You had one shot at this Amber and we had to go to DRS to check snicko - which confirmed an egg through to slips, the downside was ScoMo was 120 not out and set his team up for victory. Great but what’s the point at 3 for 500?

Perhaps the greatest faux pas one could make in the comedy world is to steal material and #EggGirl did just that, a copycat act which achieved very little of the wave EggBoy created. I guess on the other hand however we’re all talking about it which is kind of the point.

Here is a quick list of alternative ‘bits’ for future protesters to utilise considering the egg is dead.

  • A cream pie to the face Charlie Chaplin style

  • Inserting a red clown nose on to your targets face.

This is not an attempt to bash #EggGirl, it’s merely a comedic take on stealing someone else’s comedy bit and following them also failing to smash an egg at point blank.